Why is no one telling me what I want to hear?

Last October, someone else’s dream job fell into my lap.

I was working as the assistant curator at an art museum, and I loved it. I made my own schedule, I enjoyed my coworkers, and I was surrounded by art every day. What more could I ask for?

One day, the curator let me know that they were resigning and *unofficially* the position was being offered to me.

Deep down, I knew that I shouldn’t take it. 

First of all, there wasn't an ounce in my being that wanted to work a full-time job. I loved the flexibility I had working part-time, and I was able to prioritize my own art and business.

Second, I definitely wasn't qualified. Don’t get me wrong, I was more than capable. But without the credentials, I knew in the long run I would feel like a fraud.

BUT, whether or not I took a pay raise, I would be taking over the responsibilities until the position was filled by someone else.. which “could take up to 8 months” …

Although my gut was screaming PLEASE DON’T DO THIS, it logically seemed like the right thing to do. 

Like really who in their right mind would turn this potentially once in a lifetime opportunity?

But I was still conflicted so I started seeking advice.

I asked my boyfriend. I asked my family. My closest friends. And they all said the same things.

“It makes sense.”

“What an amazing opportunity!”

“Just do it for a little while to save some money.”

But I still wasn’t convinced.

So I called in the big guns … and I went to talk to my psychic.

While I don’t remember exactly what she told me, it was along the lines of “You know what you want to do.” 

LIKE OH OKAY THANKS LORI, SUPER HELPFUL … NOT.

But she was right.

I did know what I wanted to do. But no one was reflecting it back to me.

A few days later at our weekly staff meeting, the director announced that the curator was leaving, and then proceeded to thank me for stepping up and taking over those responsibilities. 

I was completely blindsided.

No one had officially asked me to fulfill this position. I never spoke to the director about this. I hadn’t accepted anything! 

But here they were, thanking me? In front of everyone? I felt backed into a corner.

This should have been a big enough red flag to make me walk away.

But guess what?

I accepted the job.

And then within two weeks, I QUIT.

My intuition tried to tell me that this position wasn’t right for me, but I let outside voices and ideas of success drown out my own inner wisdom.

Sometimes it’s hard to recognize what you truly want versus what you’ve been told you should want. 

But your soul always knows.

And it is always communicating with you. 

You just have to learn how to listen.